
It's Love
Monday, November 3, 2008

Dress Up!
Monday, October 20, 2008
Little Star Onesie - 3-6 mos.
Pawprints Tee - 4T
Fall Fun!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Deep sigh....
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Well, really just one person in particular.
I'm not sure how many times we can have a certain conversation before he will grasp its meaning. (and it's such a simple meaning...)
About 20 minutes ago, we embark on said conversation for about the 12th time this month. It goes something like this....
him: "What's that kid's name...Justin?"
me: {blank look} even though, at this point, I know where we are going....
him: "Mark? NO! Mike! Mike. What does he charge?"
me: "$70 an hour"
him: "I need you to call him"
me: "Okay..." {continued blank look}
him: "I need to get Quickbooks on my computer. I have the software. 97 I think....yeah, 97."
me: {sigh} "You want to be able to see my Quickbooks, right? Is that what you mean?"
him: "Yeah!"
me: "We can't do that."
him: "What?!?!" {all angry-like, even though he's been told this roughly 47 times}
me: "The only way we can do that is to put it back on the server and we can't do that without a password to the server."
him: "Call Mike."
me: "Mike can't do it without a password."
him: "Call Mike."
me: {exercising extreme anger management} "Mike can't do anything on the server without a password. Either you get the right password or he has to set up a whole new server."
him: "That's too expensive." {excessive frowning}
me: {sigh}
him: {grumble, grumble, grumble as he leaves my office}
He really has a gift for making people feel like...oh, I don't know...crap. Now, I should know by now not to take these events personally. But some days......
My patience -- oh, there it went.....
A trip down the hall....
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Last night, as I walked down the hall to my bedroom, I made a startling discovery.
There is a control on the wall that regulates the whole-house fan. It is rectangular in shape.
In 16 years, I have not noticed that it crookedly affixed to the wall. How did I not notice this?
I realize now that this a blessing, for it would have been an agonizing 16 years of trips down the hallway, wishing I could somehow right the crooked box on the wall.
After my small explosion over it's crookedness, I mentioned that I may have to move out, as it bothered me very much.
My dad immediately started searching for other things he could make crooked.
A Hike With The Chipster
Thursday, September 18, 2008

At first, he wasn't so sure he liked hiking. (He is a poodle, you know.) He found very creative ways to get around the mud puddles and such. He was very excited when we passed two girls on horseback. (I think he wanted to take a ride too.)
This picture was taken right before he rolled in some horse poop. Nice.
We had a very good time after he got used to the whole nature thing. Several times he paused at a fallen log or bramble and looked up at me as if to say, "And what am I supposed to do now?!" But, he was a good sport. He managed to pee about 8,297 times on various and sundry trees. I was so proud!

At one point, we had to cross the creek to get back to the main road. Chipper voted vehemently against this, but was denied. I went out into the middle of the creek, which was barely up to my shins, and he stood on the shore and was nervous.
But, I told him to "take it like a man" and he went for it! ....just dove right in!! He actually only had to swim for about 2 yards and then he could walk, but he was still very brave.

After that, we creek-walked for a little while, until we got up to the bridge and climbed up the bank to the road. He did have to endure some scrubbing while in the creek due to his frolic in the horse dung, but he took it well. All in all, a great time was had by all. I believe the Chipster may actually become farm poodle like his predecessor Erma Bee....

Here he is...only slightly annoyed at being forced to creek-walk with me.... :)
Livin' in the 90's
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Ugh
Thursday, September 11, 2008
I could make a list right before I go to bed. You know, what I would like to change.... If only.
It's been one of those days where I love my life one minute and in the next, I am hating myself for something dumb that I did, or said, or thought.... I have an intense dislike for these days.
Lately, I have been having these -- well, we'll call them 'feelings' about a certain person.
I cannot understand them.
I cannot find a reason for them.
I wish they would go away.
I hate them.
I do not want them.
They really make no sense at all....I mean, NO SENSE!!! Yet, there they are.
The ping pong ball is going back and forth in my head again.
(That's a funny thought until you've experienced it - ha!)
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Um...is this a problem??
I think I do this because it's like I am continuing a previous conversation (even if there wasn't one). It seems to make things more personal to me.
I often have a hard time starting conversations...I don't know how to bring something up that I want to say or ask without sounding like a dork. So, I figure by adding the 'so,' it's kind of like easing into things. You know, give people a warning that I am about to speak. That way they can run, or plug their ears or something like that.
Who knows. I don't.
Boys
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Too bad that not much else about him did that to me.
That's all I have to say about that.
Yes, No, Maybe
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
I will make a conscious, thought-out decision to do something, even though my mind is telling me that it is not the right thing to do. Perhaps this means I have a lack of will-power. Or, perhaps, it's just stupidity.
I imagine two beings in my head. One says, "You know that won't work. Don't even think about it anymore." But, the other one tells me to do it anyway..."Maybe it will work. You never know until you try!" They are constantly at war.
I try not to let my emotions make decisions for me. That's usually part of the problem though.
I wonder if other people spend as much time calculating what they will say as I do? Do they rehearse it in their head over and over, trying to imagine different outcomes? Or am I alone in the ability to spend great pieces of time imagining what might happen if I say this or that.
And, then there are the times I just blurt something out....while trying to be brave and confident. (These are not traits I inherently possess.) That usually just backfires and makes me feel like a complete idiot. But, every once in a great while, it works....which is why I never give up hope.
...just some random thoughts I had to let out of my head.
Telephonophobia
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
So, I read this today...
Telephonophobia.....Defined as "a persistent, abnormal, and unwarranted fear of telephones", each year this surprisingly common phobia causes countless people needless distress.
It can cause panic attacks and keep people apart from loved ones and business associates. Symptoms typically include shortness of breath, rapid breathing, irregular heartbeat, sweating, nausea, and overall feelings of dread, although everyone experiences telephonophobia in their own way and may have different symptoms........
Apparently, I am not the only freak in the world, if there is medical recognition for it. And, the symptoms?? Yea, I've pretty much experienced all of these.
Of all the afflictions and phobias, why this? I could deal with being afraid of heights, or water, or the #13, or birds, or any number of other things. But, why am I so traumatized when I need to use the phone?
Last week, I had to make several uncomfortable phone calls in a row and by the time I was done, my hands were shaking so bad, I could hardly write. Seriously.
It's odd, because answering the phone when it rings is not so bad. But, having to dial and wait while it rings and then speak when the person answers....I'm nervous just thinking about it.
Yea, I'm odd.
F O C U S
Sunday, August 31, 2008
I am supposed to be getting ready for the street fair tomorrow. I had a whole list of stuff in my head that I could put together to add to my things to sell. I was going to finish sewing up a bunch of stuff. I even got up really early to get a good start on the day.
But, what have I done so far?
Well, I played on the computer for a long time, trying to download some music and find the sheet music for some things I wanted to try on the piano. After that was successful, I played the piano for a while. Then, I ate some watermelon.
Then, I finished one thing off my list.
Then, I had to check my email. Then, I had to check etsy, and make some changes to my page. Then, I cut some oilcloth for an order.
Then, I took a nap.
Then, I ate a tomato sandwich and some cilantro lime chips for lunch. I made the mistake of eating my lunch outside, so since it's such a beautiful day.....I didn't want to come back inside, so I stayed outside and did stuff for a while.
Then, I finished another thing on my list.
Then, Jen called and I talked to her for a few minutes, but it set me off track, so I wandered around for a bit, thinking about what to do next. And I ate some more watermelon.
Then, I thought I should check my email again. And, here I am.
So freakin' productive.
Me
Saturday, August 30, 2008
(well, probably more than one, but.....)
When I get a new CD, or album on my ipod, and I like it, I listen to it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over......and a few more times. Until I find the next one.... That's just the way I am. I get attached to it and can't stop listening. This is especially intense when the music is really really good.
I can't say why this is. I just get the music in my head, and in my soul, and I can't get enough. I HAVE to hear it. I guess it's hard for non-musical people to understand. Maybe it's the fact that I can understand and appreciate the talent it takes to produce good music. Or, maybe I just like getting lost in the music.
Whatever the reason, this is the way I am. I love music and I can't go without it. And I can't listen without singing along. Perhaps I am obsessed with it. But to me, that's okay.
Gentle Reminders
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
It is funny, because when I think back to when I was younger, my life plan was to be married by age 22 and have at least 4 kids.
So far, I'm failing miserably at that plan.
Nice.
Oh Bother.....
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Insomnia.
It's where I stay up up up and do stuff until I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open. Then I go to bed and lie there. But, I don't sleep. No, that would be logical. I just lie there and think and think and think. And I roll over once in a while. Sometimes the dog lies on me.
I am so tired! But, for some reason, when my body says it's time to sleep, my mind disagrees.
This is not a good thing.
Tonight, instead of going to bed, I am going to try staying where I am when I get really tired. Maybe I'll just fall asleep there. Like at the sewing machine or while I'm getting a drink in the kitchen...you never know when sleep will strike.
"9 Reasons Prison Is Better Than Your Office"
Monday, August 25, 2008
This was the headline of a junk email that I got this morning. I found it funny. But, here are my 9 reasons:
9. Free food
8. Free time
7. No agonizing over what to wear...orange or orange?
6. Your enemies are kept from you by iron bars instead of cubicles or office walls
5. There's TV
4. There's a library
3. Free healthcare (even if it is crappy)
2. No deadlines
1. You don't have to answer the phone
Meanderings.
Friday, August 22, 2008
I mean, the blogs I read are things I found while searching for random stuff. Or, they are people I know. But...why would someone read mine?
I guess no one really knows it's out there. But, to me it seems strange to just be like 'hey....read my blog.' to people. Especially since I don't ever say anything very interesting. It's more just a journal, I suppose. If someone does come across it, they will either laugh...or die of boredom before reaching the end of a post.
Sometimes I feel like my mind is on overdrive and I can't make it slow down. Of course, it's usually late at night when I'm trying to sleep....not a good time for me to just whip out the laptop and start hammering away on blogger. But, sometimes I think....hey, I could blog....that might help my mind untwist.
Recently, I've been thinking that I might have ADD. My dad has it. The more my mom points out his symptoms, I think 'I have that too.' I'm just way better at hiding it. (At least I think I am) It really would explain why I hated school so much. No one could ever understand that. "You're so smart. You get such good grades. Why don't you like school?"
F O C U S ....this is my problem. I think in school, I got good grades because it wasn't hard and didn't take much effort. I can't say I ever enjoyed it all that much. I just did the work to get it done and move on. But, in college, when it got hard, and I had to focus, I just couldn't (or wouldn't) do it.
Now, I still have the same problem, except there are no grades depending on it. Luckily I have a job where I can meander around and still get stuff done. I don't even work on my hobbies for more than a little bit of time before I wander off for one reason or another.
I used to make fun of other people for this. Now, it's really not all that funny to me. I just wish I could fully accomplish something. If it's a big project, I probably won't even try, because I know I'll wander off somewhere in the middle. And then, I'll hate myself for not finishing it. Plus, there's the whole perfectionism thing that I can never satisfy....but I'll save that to untwist later.
And on that note....good night.
Freakin' Computer
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Then, I got a virus. Know how I got a virus?? I was shopping for fabric on the internet. That's it. Nothing shady or illegal. Just wanted to buy some cute fabric to make some bags to sell on etsy. And....BAM -- 'your computer is infected...'
So, I spend most of last week trying to fix it myself, something I will shamelessly say I suck at. Meanwhile, the sad computer is getting sicker and sadder, and by now barely functions. I cannot access Quickbooks, which pretty much IS my job. I have to do payroll by hand.....Does anyone is this generation realize how tedious this is?
So, I break down and call for help.
During one of my many lunchtime runs to Hardee's (I know -- bleh), I noticed a sign that said "One Geek." Something about computer repair. I figure...'hey, they can fix my piece of cra- er, computer!' So, I call and make an appointment.
Of course, this is Wednesday afternoon. We are leaving in the morning to go camping. So, it must wait till Monday.
Monday comes and with it, my 'geek' to fix the computer. He was super-nice and super-smart, and was able to subdue the evil virus. (Plus, he smelled really really good, which is never a bad thing) Of course, it did not sit well with my self esteem that I'm pretty sure he is younger than me.
Geez! When did I get this old?!
Anyway, back to the computer....
Well, the virus was gone, but Quickbooks was still troubling me. I couldn't get on the server (which we have NO password for?!). The 'geek' returned today (even after 'he who must not be named' was rude to him on the phone) and fixed the Quickbooks. But, he told me that the computer will pretty much die soon....it will just stop working. Great.
So, on the positive side of things, I will get a new computer for my office. Unfortunately, it may take Dad 7-10 months to actually make a decision to buy one......by which time I'll be stealing a computer from another office. Or, have died a slow death from impatience.
At least I still have my sewing machine.
Heavenly Squash
Monday, August 11, 2008
At church, a friend and I were talking about gardening, as we often do. I am pretty much in awe of her gardening abilities and knowledge. She is very wise. Yesterday, she was saying how much hard work it is to keep her garden up...her husband always says, "Why do it?" She always says, " I just love it."
Then she said, " I always hope that when I get to heaven it will be my job to work in the garden."
She giggled when she said it, but later I thought about what a joyful statement that was. The bible says we will have jobs in heaven. So, she figured it couldn't hurt to hope for one she loves so much on earth!
The thought makes me smile.
In Loving Memory...
Monday, August 4, 2008

For those of you who actually read this......and might be wondering.....
My dog, Erma Bee passed away on Tuesday, July 29th, at 12:30 pm.
I believe it was the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my life. But, I couldn't bear the thought of her suffering. She couldn't rest, and her breathing was so shallow. She just paced and paced, and her feet kept slipping out from under her. She didn't want to eat. The vet said we could try stronger pain pills but she kept throwing up the ones we already had.
So, with indescribable pain in my heart, I made the decision to end her pain.
I cried for days. Literally. (And now I'm crying again...)
We brought her home and buried her under the big tree in the back yard.
You know, I never really thought that animals went to heaven when they died. Some people don't believe they even have souls. But, I know Erma had a soul, and a personality, and emotions and feelings. And, when I think about all the good that pets bring into people's lives, and the love they give, I have to wonder whether they just might be there when we get to heaven.
If Erma is there now, I'm sure she is barking with joy, running down the streets of gold, her ears flapping in the wind. :)
A Story....
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Okay, it was only June 3, 2002.
I had been living with my cousins as a nanny about 2 1/2 hours from home. It was the end of the school year and, since their mom is a teacher, I was no longer needed to watch them. It was time to move home, and it was decided that I would move into my grandmother's house, which was empty at the time. It would be the first time I lived on my own, and more than anything, I wanted to get my very own dog.
So, I did what any girl like me would do....I prayed for one.
I prayed that I would be able to find the perfect dog. I had a vision in my head of the "perfect dog," even though, for me that was just a mutt. It was medium sized, a bit shaggy, with a fluffy tail, and soulful eyes. I would name it Beasley. I envisioned getting settled in my new home, then heading to the SPCA, where Beasley would be waiting for me to take him home to play fetch in the yard. Right.....
I decided not to be too specific in my prayer, because I knew that God would send me whatever He wanted me to have anyway. So, I just asked for a dog that needed a loving home. My only request was that it not be a rottweiler (eek) or a little 'fru-fru' dog. If you know me at all, you know that I'm not exactly the 'fru-fru' type!
So, as I drove home, my car packed with a year's worth of stuff, I prayed.
I was supposed to be meeting my mom at a restaurant for dinner that evening. I don't even remember where...Chi Chi's maybe?? I took a wrong turn, forgetting that it was 'one way' and I wouldn't be able to get where I wanted to go. So, I took a shortcut through the parking lot of the Weis Markets. I drove around the side, and was going to scoot out the other side, when I saw a movement out of the corner of my eye.
There, in the way back of the parking lot was a small black dog. At first I thought it might be a cat, until I saw it walk. Being a dog lover, I couldn't just drive past (no matter how hungry I was!). I turned right and circled around the edge of the parking lot to where the dog was. I parked and got out of the car. The dog, which I could now see more clearly, was very shaggy and matted. It's fur grew down over it's eyes so that I couldn't even look into its face. Upon further inspection, I saw that it was a . . . . . poodle.
It looked at me and walked away. I tried calling to it, but it only glanced at me and walked a few more steps further. I started to get back in the car, figuring I couldn't catch it if I tried, but all of the sudden, it turned. It walked right up to me and sat down.
I talked to it. Naturally, it didn't respond, but I still felt better about the situation if I was friendly toward the poodle. It just looked at me. Well, I guess it looked at me....I couldn't see its eyes.
By this time, my mom had called my cell phone when I didn't show up at the restaurant, and when I explained what happened, she joined me in the parking lot. She lifted the poodle up and we saw that it was a girl. She was wearing an old ratty cat collar with a bow that had seen its better days. It looked like she hadn't had her hair cut in years.
There was no one around. It looked like someone may have left her some crumbled up doggy biscuits and a small dish of water. But, upon further inspection, we saw that she only had four very crooked teeth. I picked her up and put her in a basket that I had in my car. I drove up to the front of the store to see if anyone might know of a lost dog.
The first thing she did was pop up out of the basket and put her paws up on the dashboard.
Some people said they had tried throughout the day to catch her and she wouldn't let anyone get near her. They had left the dog biscuits and water for her, but didn't know where she came from or when she came. No one had reported a missing dog. I left my phone number with a store employee and took her home.
I didn't have a leash, so I tied a long string to her collar, but she didn't need it. She followed me everywhere. I called the SPCA, the animal rescue, the animal control, and various other 'official animal people.' No one was looking for a small black poodle. I left my name and number, but no one called me back. One person told me I had to take her to the SPCA, but if I did, they would probably just put her to sleep because she was old.
Meanwhile, she had made herself at home. When it was time for bed, she trotted down the hall, looking back over her shoulder at me, as if to say "Come on!" When we got to the bedroom, I presented her with a nice crate with blankets and pillows just for her. She inspected it, and promptly jumped up onto my bed and curled up.
Now, I know I had prayed for a dog. That day even. But, I had said no 'fru-fru' dogs please. And I thought, "God, a poodle???" But, God had answered my prayer in a way I could not have even begun to imagine.
No one claimed her, and she made her home with me. I gave her the name Erma. She got a haircut and came home with bows in her hair. She went to the vet and we found out she was about 14 years old!
Today, over 6 years later, she is still with me. She still follows me around everywhere. She still sleeps on my bed, snuggled by my feet. She is almost blind, and mostly deaf, and has to wear a diaper most of the time. She gets disoriented some of the time, and I have had to rescue her from some funny situations. But, she still loves me with all of her heart. And I love her with all of mine.
Finding Erma has taught me a lot of things. First of all, it has taught me that God does answer prayers, no matter how silly they are. He might not answer in the way you think He should, but His way is definitely always the best. I have also learned about unconditional love. Erma loves me no matter what I do. No matter what kind of day I have, or what kind of grumpy mood I am in, she still loves me the same. You can't say that for many humans.
Today, I found out that Erma has cancer. At least that's what the x-ray suggests. My mind knows she cannot live forever, but my heart cannot quite grasp that fact yet. She is too old to have surgery. She will take medications and we will make her comfortable.
But, I may not have her for many more days......and that makes me so sad.
Wet Poodles
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Dad and I were working up at the garden. I was bent over, rolling up some chicken wire, when Dad yells, "Sarah! We got a dog in the pool!" He takes off down the hill before I can even stand up straight. Then I hear, "Wah's in!!" ('Wah' is an affectionate nickname for our oldest poodle, Erma)
I tear off down the hill and can just see her little head bobbing above the water as she paddles around looking for a way out. Dad, having gotten there before me, has grabbed a broom and is trying to keep her afloat. At this point we don't know how she got in there, or how long she's been swimming in circles...
He yells for me to get the net. I'm thinking..."NO WAY! I'm saving my baby!" I went right down the steps in the shallow end and swam right out to her, fully clothed!!
Now, the reason this event was so upsetting is this -- For those of you who don't know Erma, she is over 20 years old, is mostly blind and deaf, has congestive heart failure, and sometimes has muscles spasms in her legs. So, needless to say, swimming really isn't a hobby of hers.
We still aren't sure how she got in the pool -- probably fell in somehow. And, we don't know how long her little legs paddled before we got to her.
What made my Dad look up from what he was doing and see ripples on the water that should have been still is still a mystery. Well, maybe not entirely... God was definitely watching over her, and us, last night. I'm afraid a few more seconds and we may have been too late. And that is something I may not have been able to deal with.
She had a rough night of coughing and some trouble breathing. She must have taken in quite a bit of water. But we kept her comfy and she is on the mend today.
I love that dog with all my heart. I know that her time on earth is almost up and she's led a comfortable life these last 6 years with me. But, I don't think I could have handled losing her that way.
Have I Seen Those Before?
Sunday, July 6, 2008
No, the purpose of this picture is not to show you my ugly feet! It is only to show off my new/old pants!
I am soooo tired of going shopping for clothes and not finding what I need or want! I don't wear shorts (for modesty reasons), so for months now, I have been looking for some capris / cropped pants / whatever you call them...my great grandma used to call them clam-diggers. :) It has been next to impossible to find ones that fit, that I like, AND that are not too expensive.
So, this afternoon I decided to take matters into my own hands! I had several pairs of jeans that I bought and after a few washings they shrunk and were too short for me. Rather than just give them away, I kept them hanging around, thinking I might use them for some sewing project someday. Well, today was their day! I chopped them off, gave them some new hems (the ones in the pic even got a little cuff!), and now I have two new pairs of summer pants. And, it didn't cost a thing! (Except for the double denim needle that I broke...oops!)
I love my sewing machine!
Ecclesiastes
Ecc. 2:11 Yet, when I surveyed all that my hands had done, and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing of the wind; Nothing was gained under the sun.
No matter what we do or achieve, it really is all meaningless compared to Christ and what He can give us.
Ecc. 3:11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
Did you know?......statistically, for each year after the age of 25, the chance of coming to know Christ diminishes.
She's Growing Up...
Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Post Craft Show Blues
Sunday, June 29, 2008
So, yesterday was my second craft show. It was at the Codorus Summer Blast. The weather was quite cooperative, producing only 10 minutes of rain when they weather report foretold thunderstorms all day! We had a great spot under some shade trees and up the hill from the lake, so there was a nice breeze. However I do not have the same kind comments for our sales! No one was buying anything, from us or anyone else!! This is not always the case (so I am told), so I'm trying not to get too depressed about it. But, it sure is a a lot of work for only a few sales! I got there at 7:30 am to set up and didn't get home until almost 9:00 pm. I'm not even going to comment on how much money I made in that time. I'm not sure how people do this every weekend. I am exhausted!! It was really nice to spend the day with some of my favorite people though! Thanks to Miss Diane who came to visit and help tear down! :)
I will post some pictures later....the camera is on the RV (?).
So, today I sort of feel like I was run over by a truck. I guess it's a combination of the sunburn, not much sleep, and lots of hard work.
??
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Well......
Friday, April 11, 2008
"It might not be
The prettiest thing that you'll ever see
But it’s a new day, oh baby, it’s a new day."