Yes, No, Maybe

Sometimes I wonder why, as an intelligent person, I make such dumb decisions.

I will make a conscious, thought-out decision to do something, even though my mind is telling me that it is not the right thing to do. Perhaps this means I have a lack of will-power. Or, perhaps, it's just stupidity.

I imagine two beings in my head. One says, "You know that won't work. Don't even think about it anymore." But, the other one tells me to do it anyway..."Maybe it will work. You never know until you try!" They are constantly at war.

I try not to let my emotions make decisions for me. That's usually part of the problem though.

I wonder if other people spend as much time calculating what they will say as I do? Do they rehearse it in their head over and over, trying to imagine different outcomes? Or am I alone in the ability to spend great pieces of time imagining what might happen if I say this or that.

And, then there are the times I just blurt something out....while trying to be brave and confident. (These are not traits I inherently possess.) That usually just backfires and makes me feel like a complete idiot. But, every once in a great while, it works....which is why I never give up hope.

...just some random thoughts I had to let out of my head.